It’s a quiet night in Cambridge, MA, and a man sits nervously in Starbucks swiping away on the social dating app Tinder. He has strategically positioned himself in a corner so nobody can see that he is desperately seeking companionship using his iPhone 6. Everything is all good until his phone explodes in loud techno music as a Bud Light advertisement flashes on the screen. Holy Crap. Busted. Companies are now advertising on Tinder.
Tinder is getting it’s crush on. How crushy is Tinder? So crushy. Formed by some dude a few years ago, Tinder has sparked a digital revolution in dating. Check out how jelly Vanity fair is: http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating. Tinder wasn’t making money for a long time but things are changing. In addition to beer advertisements that pop up after every 10th swipe, Tinder has also added premium features to supplement it’s free base model. For 19.99/month swipers can now tinder in other geographies, swipe an unlimited number of times, and go back if they accidentally denied a person during a marathon swipe session.
Tinder is winning for the moment, but the future is far from certain. Every other week another free app appears on the scene looking to steal Tinder’s lunch. Mmm lunch…Sorry I’m hungry. Recent successful additions include Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, Happn, and Bumble to name a few. Each offers a slightly different feature that hopes to find that secret angle that will make it unstoppable. The main allure of the new apps is that early adopters tend to be well-informed, social, tech-savvy, and relatively attractive. However, Tinder reigns supreme due to its sheer number of users.
Recent attempts to differentiate itself include the forthcoming “super-swipe” which sounds pretty lame, but who the hell am I?
The inevitable consequence of dating apps like Tinder is that people will be having more of the sex. Countries with shrinking populations should acknowledge that a dirty little app like Tinder actually has the potential to resurrect their civilizations from extinction. Should Tinder be elected President? We’re not sure that the country is ready for that yet. Probably makes more sense to create a new religion where Tinder is slightly worshiped for a while then we really turn up the heat. Get it? Like Tinder is used for fire which makes heat and then also sex? It was probably a stretch.
Are we at 500 words yet? Almost. And…there we go. Tune in next week where we explore the origins of the phrase “tune in.” Thankssssssssss.